Who is Bill Bauman?*

It looks like it’s time for me to fess up—

to set the record straight, to come clean about who I am?

How utterly embarrassing!!! Really! But why?

The final paragraphs of this blog post will answer that question,

so please feel free to read on (Spoiler alert: It’s a long read!).

When I officially (or so I thought at the time) retired 7+ years ago,

I dedicated myself to nothing else except merging totally with the quantum void.

It was my singular calling, my compelling “have to,”

the final cherry on the sundae of an otherwise mystically rich human life of service.

In truth, there was but a miniscule bit of human identity left in me at that time.

My consciousness had already owned its multi-dimensional, beyond human, nature.

My energy field had identified not with human emotion,

but with soulful and infinite light,

and my presence on earth felt totally grounded in its more mystical, not human, roots.

So, what was left for me to stop feeling like a ‘human being’?

Only those deeply buried, existential, below-the-human-radar, cellular level,

primal beliefs that, since I lived in this human body, I must be human!

Those seven years marked the end of my human identity,

with the primary ‘ending’ occurring in my body’s primal life force.

During its rite-of-passage-filled progression,

everything human that was still lurking in my inner shadows

dissolved into the waiting bucket of pure emptiness.

That bucket readily collected these ‘drippings’ as they fatefully melted away,

then dissolved them into its own compelling nothingness.

I’ll be specific.

Any sense of human identity that remained in my body’s cells,

any human life force that still vibrated in my nervous system,

any memory of a human identity that still resided in my physical muscles,

any quality of my lungs that still thought it was a human lung breathing air—

all slowly dissolved into this mysterious and silent nothingness.

I’ll be even more specific.

My energetic life force, gradually waned, decreased, and finally died.

My muscles lost much of their strength, many of them disappearing completely.

My nervous system took on the project of depleting, then destroying, its nerve endings.

My hearing, after 50 years of listening devotedly to others, quickly abandoned its strength.

My voice, now retired from verbal expression, weakened and became barely audible.

My breathing dwindled in strength, my lungs having to effort in order to breathe.

My brain cells lost their neuronic strength, with diminished memory and function.

In short, my human body, including its every cell, was actively dying.

All of the above collapsed into that waiting bucket of quantum nothingness.

After some years of this continuing dying adventure, it happened.

My body reached its point of singularity, its moment of completion.

It had fully given up its cellular level identity as a human body,

the last step in the “death of the human ego.”

It was official: There was nothing human left

in this consciousness that had been named Bill Bauman.

That cellular, primal ‘Bill’ died—symbolically, energetically, physically, personally—

in every way except for its visual appearance.

Why was this ‘letting go’ process so gruesome, so extreme? you might ask.

Does it have to be that way for everyone?

I want to be the first to tell you that it does NOT have to be that way for everyone.

For me, though, this path into the quantum depth was important.

I had recognized years ago that I was here not only an individual human being

but also as an ‘archetypal’ human being—

an embodiment and caretaker of our collective human consciousness.

I realized that this ego-dying process was not just for the personal ‘me’

but also for the benefit of our human family.

In my personal immersion into quantum consciousness,

I was also introducing of a new puzzle piece

in the larger puzzle of our collective human consciousness

—a “quantum consciousness” piece, a “quantum identity” piece—

a new prototype and model that would allow others

to embrace their own quantum consciousness.

That includes you, by the way,

and anyone else who feels called to a quantum identity,

whether fully or partially, observably or subtly.

To get back to the story ….

At that moment of singularity, when the death ritual was complete,

everything in what had been a ‘me’ went numb, shifted into neutral,

landed in a state of emptiness—and stayed there.

There was no ‘me’ anymore, whether consciously or cellularly.

‘Bill’ was nowhere to be found on the premises.

There was only the quantum void.

Here’s my next sharing for the “What happened next?” question.

Let’s keep in mind that the Quantum Void’s super-duper specialty

Is that of “creating something out of nothing.”

So, what happened next is a series of new creations—out of pure nothingness.

First, the Void created the equivalent of a new life force

and placed it within the space that Bill had previously occupied.

It didn’t (and doesn’t) feel at all like the former human life force,

because it’s not composed of energy. No, it’s a quantum life force.

For example, those depleted and disappeared muscles never came back,

but this new life force “took their place,” so to speak, and strongly so.

Next, the Void created a new identity, that of a “quantum being.”

What in the world is a quantum being? You might ask.

Well, actually, its nature is unique to and differs for everyone.

I’ll just tell you what it is for me.

For me, it’s the appearance, illusion or phantasm of a being a person—

that is, I look like a real-deal human being, but don’t feel like one.

Instead, I feel like a ‘presence.’ Specifically, a quantum presence.

To be a bit more explicit, I feel like a barely visible and barely feel-able presence,

a mostly intangible presence floating in and occupying a localized space,

looking and talking like a human, and even referring to myself as an “I,”

(because those I’m here to serve benefit from more a tangible presence)

but embodying and expressing the quantum purposes of pure emptiness.

The question in my opening paragraph re-emerges: Why am I telling you all of this?

I’ve come to believe that, if the Quantum Source had not intended to invite you

into itself and into your own state of quantum consciousness

and/or didn’t want to lavish its quantum gifts upon you,

I would have simply died at the end point of my own quantum immersion.

Yet, I didn’t;

I got re-created as a quantum, albeit human-like, voice—

as a seemingly visible conduit of a deeper quantum presence,

one that wants nothing less than to splash itself

and its creative intentions onto the earth in a fresh way.

First, in you through me.

Then, in others through you.

Then, in the world.

Or, all at once, simultaneously.

In short, I’m newly created as this semi-formless quantum expression

because of you … for you … to serve you.

Yes, you’re that deserving … and that chosen.

From another angle (still with the “Who am I?” question),

How do “I”--this new and different quantum creation—

feel about being this quantum identity?

I must admit, it’s a bunch of fun being quantum and pretending to be human.

I feel something like a four-year-old child feels when playing tea party or school.

I’m enjoying the play, the dream, the illusion, even the experience of it all as real.

Come to think of it, aren’t we all phantasms, really?

Aren’t we all, at our core, quantum beings dreaming ourselves as human, as real?

Aren’t we all, as quantum beings, playing the game of “Let’s pretend we’re human!”?

Maybe I’m this new version of who I am now

in order to serve you, but also to be a model to you

of how to be in the human dream as a quantum being,

how to enjoy the dream while dreaming it,

all the while letting our inner four-year-old have a ball?

How about you?

QUANTUM SOURCE ... QUANTUM WORLD ... QUANTUM VOID ... QUANTUM YOU!